Replies (14):
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Dear Creedy,
You are not alone. Dealing with the constant pain, plus all of the related frustrations, could stress anyone out. I have found myself -- especially during peak pain periods -- rather short-tempered.
For me -- it has helped to vent to my painiac friends here on PainAid --- people who really understand. Sometimes, it's easier to talk to strangers who are going thru the same thing. However, I do think that communication with your family is important. Family support is a great resource.
If noticed that some of the men here have mentioned an additional stressor because of their traditional role as provider. You may want to check out the Personal & Family section as there's a topic for Men's Issues there and I'm sure the guys will chime in.
Will the VA cover some counseling? Perhaps talking to someone about your specific situation would help with finding constructive ways of venting your frustration.
Anyway -- just know that you have a whole group of folks here who are facing these challenges along side you and will support you in finding solutions.
Semer Fi!
Carolyn |
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Hi Creedy ,
I am sitting hear reading the boards trying to keep my mind off of my problems and of course pain . I have read several of your post and can feel you really trying to figure out how to get yourself out of the prison that medicines has put your mind into . I think it may be medicine induced . I can not tell you the years that I lived not to mention my family lived with my severe mood swings and almost liking to pick an argument or spoiling for a verbal fight to unleash my pent up anger from what medicines did to my mind .
My anger would catch me saying now why did I say or do that . Most times I did not certainly feel that way after I had a chance to think about it . So many times I didnt even regrete things that I said or did . I would have never known it was the anti sezure meds and other things like depakote that I had been taking on and off for about 15 years to prevent migraines and for nerve pain .
To make a very long story short I was let go from my dream job at my dearm place because of daily pain and migraines . I was at a cross rodes in my pain life and had already set a get well plan with my pain dr that included PT again after 5 years with out it , botox and trigger point injections and nerve blocks . I had some success in lowering my pain levels but mostly was pure WILL to get my job back being a team teacher and/or aide ..... It didnt matter which as long as I could come back to work . I had worked there for about 9 years through my 2 cspine surgeries , nerve damage and constant daily living with migraines .
My point being i went off of all medicines even the preventable nerve pain anti sezuire meds and or meds like depakote that was also used for bi polar . During that time I did a lot of working both mentally and physically to improve every thing . It was very suttle because it does take quite bit of time to get the meds out of your system before the real you comes out again . I noticed and so did my family I wasnt jumping negativly into things with both feet like I had done for YEARS .
It was not until the WILL wore off and another injury this time from my chiropractor moving a disc on my l&s spine . I went on the newer lyrica that was being toted as the new mirical drug but is really another brand of neurontin an anti seziure med . Ohhhhhhh my gosh I noticed the OLD and angry ME back after about a week on the medicine lyrics for nerve pain from my c .l and spine ....I had swelling as a side effect too and gained over 10 lbs in the 9 days that I took it at the lowest dose once a day . I mean these meds are very strong being used to chemically alter peoples brains that are miss firing . Very strong medicines to alter our brains . Even my husband took a step back because we had made some improvements in our relationship . I mean my family really noticed the differences after going off of the anti seziure meds . I hardly ever smiled for years and found my faxe hurting from smiling so much after I had gone off of the depakote and keppra . I finially found the real me and you know I am not half bad without those mind altering medicine . We all react differently to meds .
Some times like ME and maybe others like you are left wondering where is the real person with the right personality (and will they please stand up ) . Left shaking our heads and wondering who the real person really is . I think that people who have to take these meds to help them live with the pain should be warned and at the very least given the infomation that these drugs can alter who they are and cause a lot of anger issues .
For me it was just too much for me to live in that anger the meds left me in . After realizing I could take the extra pain that the meds were supose to help with much easier than living with a frowing face and in constant tormoil . It takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown ..........I was able to get rid of a lot of tension from anger in my muscles that helped with the pain . It was the best thing that I have done for not only my family . It has taken a couple of years of working on myself for my family to trust that I have really changed . Not that the drugs were the only cause I needed to talk to them and accept my part of not having the right coping skills with anger issues........
I sure do wish you the very best . Think about what I said . Narcotic pain meds are depressents too so we have to fight the depressive issues from that as well . Not to mention how degrading it is to be in pain after being a strong and tough military person . I hope that you can find the answers that you are so despretly searching for . I really feel your longing to find an answer to some of your anger ( been there done that and have the tshirts for my whole family ) . I mean if the anger was really a part of who you are than you would not realize something was wrong to be that angery . Keep working on it and the answers will become much clearer with time .
Please do keep me posted with how you are feeling . Venting here was where my jouurney started to increase my quality of life and understanding who I really was ( out rfrom under the meds ) . I had to go back to narcotic pain meds but I explained the anger issue with the anti seziues and bi polar drugs .
No more for me for sure ,
Dre |
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Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone on that one! I sometimes get so angry at just the littlest thing. I try not to. Still it does happen sometimes. I am a wife and mother of 4 boys ( 2 teed and 2 preteen). I know sometimes they dismiss it as "that time" but they just don't know. I have been dealing with chronic pain because of RSD/CRPS for about 17 years now. It stared with the lower extremities and has spread to include the upper extremities as well as of late. I used to be active in all kinds of sports and excercise. Now it hurts just to brush my teeth. More often than not my husband helps to dress and feed me, etc. It is very upsetting. Sorry I got on a slight rant there. Thanks. |
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Hello Anisant4,
You are absolutely not alone on APF/PainAid! Go right ahead and rant ~ who could blame anyone for being angry at pain. Not only do I get angry at what pain has done in my life, but I get angry about what it does to other people's lives. Thank God, my fuse is short-lived!
Your hubby sounds supportive and very nice.
4 BOYS!!! Yikes!!
Hope to see lots of you around the site and in chats. Keep a good thought and may God bless.
~Mary Anne
APF/PA Team |
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Hi Mary Anne!
Thank you for being understanding. =) It takes alot of prayer and distractions (mostly prayer) to get through most days. On the days that I feel good I try to do regular stuff like a little laundry, maybe wash the dishes or something and then I end up in heavy pain. Mornings are usually not too bad, but toward the later part of the day I'm bedridden. That's a hard pill to swallow and I'm still (after 17 years) trying to adapt to it because I know it's not me.
Thanks again,
Ani |
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Uncontrollable anger in veterans is frequently low sex hormones because you have been exposed to so much radiation and Depleted Uranium. If you can get a referral to an Allergist-Immunologist (they check hormone levels, too), you can probably get blood tests for Androgen Syndrome, or low testosterone and low DHEA levels. I am female on all sex (pituitary), thyroid and adrenal hormones. I produced very little testosterone, and no Pregnenalone, which is a combination adrenal-pituitary (sex) hormone. My adrenals were crashed. Instead of raging, I was the other way around. Almost comatose, and nothing fazed me.
BeckieCann |
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I forgot to mention biggest issue! The most intense pain I have EVER felt is getting adrenal hormones BACK INTO my bones, muscles, tendons, and adrenals on top of the kidneys (mid-back pain). I am not suicidal at all, because I am artistic-medical type. Loved every waking moment in all of its glory before military vaccines. But lack of cortisol, Pregnenalone and all other adrenal hormones takes a close second to the agonizing pain of the first 4 days taking the oral hormones. Reabsorption of essential "fight, flight, or freeze" hormones must be akin to worst torture known to man. Prescription pain meds prescribed for dealing with that magnitude of pain, can cause raging fits male veterans experience when lacking sufficient testosterone and DHEA. I also forgot to mention that male veterans respond very well to Boron, and over-the-counter precursor to testosterone that gives male legs and biceps the strength that radiation poisoning strips away.
BeckieCann |
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Hey there:
I have been put on Androgel for the same reasons but have never been checked for Rad poisoning..or Adrenal. This is a new thought for me. The extreme depression and rage happens...but mostly the isolation and irritability. I am thankful that my wife puts up with it. I must say though that lyrica has helped in spite of side effects of blurred vision and swelling in extremities.
I will ask my specialist about adrenal...hmmm.
fogcat |
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Four things that have helped me the most are sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. The problem is, chronic pain prevents you from having the replenishing, healing remidies that sleep give you. You may not even realize the big problem is not the pain itself but the sleep the pain deprives you of. So.... how can you get sleep? That is the real problem. I do it with a trade off. I take the meds for a few days and make sure I take them before I hit the sack. After a few days, I back off the meds, get involved in some serious blogging for a couple of days, them back on the meds again.
For the longest time I just stayed awake or half-asleep till I crashed, lost my job then my family. I did this for 10 years till I finally got on VA 100% disability for something I had been suffering from since I was blown apart in Viet Nam in 71.
What I have discovered in the last 30 years of dealing with Chronic pain due to Combat injury is that sleep is the answer. The problem is, each individual usually needs a different remedy to get the right amount of sleep. I have also discovered that you need to work with your meds and meditate. Meds work best right after you take them, then dampen down till they are eliminated from your body. Then you take some more. When you first start to feel their effects is when you need to concentrate on getting your restful sleep. Sleep is the big healer for mind and body.
If your using your the good part of your meds to have a little fun or catch up on a work project, you are missing the point. With good sleep, you can take a little more pain and get the job done. After a few days on bad sleep, you are going to tear the world apart before you tell everyone to kiss it then crash and get the sleep you need. |
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Hey - Moonstroller
Yes - sleep is important and hard to come by -- Make sure to check out the transcript of the chat we had not too long ago on sleep....
http://discuss.painfoundation.org/replies.aspx?cbbsid=33&tid=27044
PA_Carolina
APF/PainAid Team
American Pain Foundation
Combined Federal Campaign Designation: 22290
A United Voice of Hope and Power over Pain
"The views or opinions contained herein do not necessarily represent those of PainAid or of The American Pain Foundation." |
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sure i do........it's a classic w/major depression and PTSD......for which ...........i...........in fact am certified one CMF (if you know what i mean).........anyway......my anti-d keeps me hangin' on by a thread.....so.......i've found sometimes 1 hour or minute at a time.........rather than a week in advance.......i'm 24/7/365....in pain....look i'm missin' some major body parts and some paralysis.....so i can't type much......but i can yack on a tx....up to you......email me if u like......jd_littell@yahoo.com |
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I sure am glad I found this site, I see I am not the only one in pain. I am a Veteran myself, been living with consant pain for over 20 years. I see why I get anger so easy at times, mostly when I get the run around like I am getting now. Been waiting on my medication from the VA, call the clinic and was told they were out of it, had to take something else until the VA got them back in stock. What they sent me is burning my insides up, plus I look like the GoodYear Blimp. Been calling clinic the last two days, no one will return my call, just another one of there run arounds. Going to try again in the morning plus a few other things to see if I can get someone to listen to me. This is gettting old, but I see I am not the only one. I am learning alot from read what other's are going thur, again glad I found this site. |
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And it is cool that you found us. What you are going through, sadly, isn't all that rare. Hang in there and keep punching those buttons. They say that the squeaky wheel gets the grease  |
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Dear Snake,
Glad you found us, too.
If you still haven't heard back from the VA, put in a call to the Patient Advocate to complain - you might get a faster call-back (no promises!).
PA_Carolina
APF/PainAid Team
American Pain Foundation
Combined Federal Campaign Designation: 22290
A United Voice of Hope and Power over Pain
PA_Carolina
APF/PainAid Team
American Pain Foundation
Combined Federal Campaign Designation: 22290
A United Voice of Hope and Power over Pain
"The views or opinions contained herein do not necessarily represent those of PainAid or of The American Pain Foundation."
Updated by pa_Carolina1 on 20/03/2009 12:40 |
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