i just wrote a very long post that was lost...darn. i am looking for someone to listen to my story. my partner suffers from chronic neck, back pain and also migraines. she has been through many meds and has recently started having problems on her current regimen of methadone and several other meds. on her own she has starting going off methadone without the advice of her doctor. though her vomiting is better, her pain is worse but she does not think stopping methadone has anything to do with her worsening pain.

she is angry and depressed and is refusing counseling, meds, or any other assistance for her mood. it is impacting our relationship in many ways. she asked me to leave her for my sake but I will not leave. she asks me not to share our struggles with anyone, even her twin sister. she is very isolated and if i chose to respect her wishes, so am i.

i am a family practice physician myself and understand chronic pain and depression very well. i've worked to support her as a loving partner, NOT as her doctor. she has a good provider that she sees though she often doesn't keep her provider abreast of her situation or the things she is doing with her meds.

The sticky situation is that I am the medical director at the office where she gets her care. everyone knows she is my partner. she is embarrassed by her situation and her need for help, so she doesn't seek it at times. I have offered to help and support her in many ways but she pushes all those offers away.

it is a yucky situation...and in my circumstance, other than seeking a counselor for myself (which I have done prior), it is difficult for me to get support for myself so i can support her.

i'm glad I found this website. i hope I can connect with at least a few people who are in similar situations. I'm open to any and all suggestions.

thanks.